Women might be the gender taxed with childbearing, but not everyone enjoys being a mother. However, it doesn’t stop others from asking childless women about their lack of children.
Even well-known figures like Oprah Winfrey have faced questions about her marital status and the reasons behind her long-term childlessness.
She admitted in an interview in October 2019 that she had no regrets about remaining single and avoiding having children.
She claims that if she had married her partner, Stedman Graham, their relationship dynamics would have been drastically changed, and they would not have been able to coexist for as long as they have.
Winfrey discussed her reasons for never getting married or having kids in an interview honoring amazing women changing the world. The multibillionaire admitted to considering parenting after she and Graham engaged in 1986 after meeting at a charity event.
“I once bought a second apartment in Chicago because I thought, ‘Well if we get married, I’m going to need room for kids,’” she recalled. Even though it never happened, Winfrey claimed that while filming her program, she realized “the depth and responsibility and sacrifice required to be a mother.”
“I’m talking to many screwed-up people, and they are screwed-up because their mothers and fathers didn’t understand how serious that job is,” she added.
“I can’t compartmentalize like I see other women do,” she said. “Because of this, I have always held the highest esteem for women who stay at home with their children because I can’t imagine how you manage to do it all day. Women are seldom given the credit they deserve.”
She also discussed her connection with Stedman and how she doesn’t reflect on her choices.
“I used to constantly reflect that I worked these 17-hour days with my producers and that after returning home, I had my two dogs and Stedman, who let me be who I needed to be in the world. He never makes me do anything for him.”
She continued, “He and I agree that we would not be together if we had married. I don’t regret a thing about that. I also think that part of the reason I don’t look back on my life is that I achieved my goals through the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa, which was the ideal choice for me,” she added. “Those girls take up the mother role I might have had. In actuality, they overflow; my maternal reserves are exhausted.”
Despite not having any children, Winfrey briefly became a mother in her early teens due to a tragic event. Winfrey described the harrowing experience of being sexually abused and raped by her cousin in an upsetting episode of the docuseries “The Me You Can’t See.”
The 67-year-old lost her ability to control her tears as she recalled the trauma and started crying.
“My 19-year-old cousin sexually assaulted me when I was nine, ten, eleven, and twelve. I was unaware of what rape was. I had never heard of the term. I didn’t even know what was happening to me; I had no notion what sex was or where babies came from.”
She overcame the horrifying assault, became pregnant, and gave birth to a boy at 14, but the baby barely lasted two weeks.
According to a story by The Irish Examiner, Winfrey spoke candidly with David Letterman about some of her experiences and how they have changed her perspective.
“I repressed all of my sentiments about it,” she admitted. “I truly believed that the birth of that baby and the life it has since lived had given me new life. That was my processing of it.”
Additionally, Winfrey stated that she wouldn’t change anything about her history because it helped shape who she is now if she had the power to do so. Her experience gave her a tremendous sense of empathy, which is one of the reasons she is today a strong person who can change people’s lives.
Winfrey declared, “I would take nothing from my journey.” Everyone is seeking the same thing, and I know how it feels to be unwanted. It can serve as a springboard for developing strong empathy for people.
