You pride yourself on your open, honest relationship. But that doesn’t mean you should blurt out any thought that comes to mind. Sometimes, a comment that seems perfectly harmless to you might be hurtful, awkward or just plain irritating to your boyfriend. You’re obviously tight with your man, but some topics can unintentionally shut down the romance—fast.
1. How you really feel about his parents
Don’t even go there. Just don’t. He’s well aware that his mom is a controlling nightmare, but will still defend her if you point out the obvious.
- Your celeb crush
We all know Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum are SO HOT! Hell, even your guy knows it. But mentioning it in front of him will just make him feel bad.. or jealous. Either way, you don’t want to deal with it.
- How long it took you to get ready
Part of keeping the sparks going in your relationship is keeping a few aspects of your life in the dark. This includes keeping your pre-date prep under wraps. You want your man to focus on the end result, not all the effort that went into it.
- Anything that has to deal with your body issues
Guys always tell me it drives them NUTS when their gfs ask if something makes them look fat. Men have a hard time relating to this, and definitely don’t know what to say. So even if you feel like you’re having a bad thigh day, shake it off. You’ll feel hotter in the process! Besides, confidence is sexy 😉
- Deets of your period
It’s okay to tell him it’s that time of the month if you or your boyfriend aren’t comfortable with period sex, but take a pass on chatting about bloating or how gross you feel when Bloody Mary comes to town.
- “My ex did the exact same thing!”
Whether it’s a desirable resemblance (they both always hold the door open) or a less desirable one (neither one texts often enough), your boyfriend never wants to hear that he’s anything like your ex. Ever. You don’t want him to feel like you’re always comparing the two of them, do you?
Think about it: Do you really want him to imagine that he does other things just like your ex? Doubtful. Or vice versa. Plus, he might think you’re still hung up on your former flame. Either way, a comment like this will easily hurt his self-esteem. So the next time you experience boyfriend deja-vu, keep it to yourself.
ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING that has to do with an ex boyfriend/lover should stay in between you and your past. It is just a uncomfortable topic and no man likes to know about the past. Think about how much we hate it when guys tell us about their psychotic ex’s. It is the past and you don’t want to repeat it for a reason.
- “Do you think she’s pretty?”
When you ask a question like this, your boyfriend knows he can’t win. If he says “yes,” you’ll probably get jealous and upset. You might even follow up with “is she prettier than me?” Talk about a loaded question!!
Of course, if he says “no” (and she’s clearly beautiful), you’ll accuse him of being a liar. You’ll wonder what else he’s lying about, even as you assure him you don’t mind if he says “yes.”
- “I’ll try anything once!”
Because unless you really, really, really mean it, don’t get his hopes up.
- “Are you sure you’re okay?”:
(Repeatedly. Even after he’s told you a thousand times that he really is okay.)
Sometimes we’re thrown off guard when our guy is uncharacteristically quiet. We’ll prod and probe, hoping to get to the bottom of their issue (and too often, we’re almost absolutely sure it’s something we’ve done) when in reality, there may not be a concrete reason at all.
Men have bad days too- they can be moody, tired, or generally not feel like talking. They’re only human (at least we’d like to think so..) As hard as it can be, don’t read into it too much. Give him his space and keep yourself busy until he snaps out of it.
Ask him what’s bothering him over and over again and the only honest answer will be “YOU!”
- Constantly throwing ultimatums
No one wants to be threatened with “if you don’t fix up, I’m leaving.” No amount of manipulation will get him to change. Giving him ultimatums can be viewed as childish and you don’t want to resort to such acts of desperation. Ultimatums push people into a corner and leads to defensiveness. It also puts a lot of pressure on both of you.
You have to ask why you feel the need to resort to such demands. Is it a form of control? Maybe your relationship is the one area you feel you can regulate. Or does it stem from a lack of confidence? This behavior will have a negative effect and may result in your partner digging his heels in further and no changes being made. Or he may actually call your bluff and tell you to leave….. Ouch!
- “Just leave it I’ll do it myself.”
We all have set ways of how we do things, but before you utter these words, think about why you’re so frustrated in the first place. Let’s say your boyfriend is loading the dishwasher but he’s taking too long in your opinion and he doesn’t rinse the plates first. Now these are minor things because the end result is that the dishwasher is being loaded and he’s helping around the house.
Men like to feel like the provider and you demeaning him in any way will have a negative effect. He may question what his role is around the house as you’ve chosen to become superwoman at this moment. You can’t have it all. You want him to help you out, yet you moan when he does it and utter the aforementioned words. Make up your mind!
- “I’m a ring size 7, pant size 28, I like silver more than gold, I’m allergic to cashmere”
You most likely won’t hear from him again.
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